I'll Tell you what i want, what i really really want

I flit around other writer blogs looking for that person that shares a resemblance to me. Someone who doesn’t really have much to show yet except a basic website because all their time is spent writing and self-doubting while looking at what other writers are doing.

When I find that person then I can say, “Oh look, I can do this writing thing too because look at that person doing it. We’re nearly at the same stage of our career and if anything mine is going a smidge better because they’ve chosen a terrible font for their blog.”

Instead, I find a lot of people who have been longlisted, shortlisted, won scholarships, won residencies, stories published in good places, highbrow places like Overland and Meanjin. And they have some sort of background in copy writing, or journalism or editing or they call themselves a freelance writer but have stuff to back it up. They’ve all done a Creative Writing degree or worse, a Masters.

Plus, they’ve been writing since they were in utero, edited their school paper, going on to write a column in the local paper before deciding to try a novel and getting it, if not published at least, looked at. None of them spent their high school years underage drinking, smoking cigarettes and mouthing off about how shitty their life was.

Instead they were reading Byron or Keats and actually enjoyed them. They know who these writers are and don’t just use quotes they found on Google images to look smart.

(Wait….What?)

 On other people’s websites and blogs I can see exactly what I want to do and where I want to be. With their published novels and offerings of speaking engagements and witty posts about writing life. I can do that. I know I can. And I don’t mind taking the steps to get from A all the way to Z I just wish someone could confirm for me I am taking the right steps.

But I’m wondering if that is an impossible wish as it seems everyone’s path is different. And I wonder if a writing blog is sometimes like a Facebook feed showing us only the good bits because nobody wants to read, “Today I typed on my computer and everything I created was crap.” Except me, I’d like to read that, just a little bit. Might make me feel better.

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